Around our house a 'princessa' is the word used to mean Barbie. Don't ask why my children, who have two very much English speaking parents, use words like princessa. Its the same reason they say things like medicina, la lengua, and sienta te. But I digree...
A princessa is more specifically a Barbie who has a big ball gown type of dress on. A Barbie with a swimsuit on can never truly be a princessa. Understand?
Okay, so G & L received their first princessa about a month or so ago. They got Snow White and Cinderella. Then last week after getting flu shots, we went to Target to pick out a new princessa. My mom had been by Target a couple days before and called to let me know about a sale going on. Target had Barbie's on sale for $1.54 and $5.54. Good deal, right? It gets better.
These Barbies were swim Barbies. They were exactly the same Barbie. Sat on the shelf right next to each other and were completely identical except...one was blonde and one was brunette, one had slightly longer hair, and one had a smaller waist. Any guesses on which Barbie had longer hair, a smaller waist, and a bigger price tag??? Before I catapult myself onto a soapbox about what that says to chidren like mine for example, who have beautiful brunette hair, I'll pause long enough to finish the rest of the princessa saga.
Fast forward a couple days after buying identical Barbies, which I paid different amounts for I might add, Gabby, her princessa, and I were sitting on the couch spending some time together. I was playing with Gabby's hair while she was holding Princessa. That's when I said, "Gabby, you are so beautiful!" I suppose I expected a yes or silence in response. Instead, she says back, "No Mama. Princessa beautiful." And then of course I jumped up off the couch, tore princessa beautiful out of her hands, collected every other gender specific toy in our house and headed to the trash can. Next of course I had to do something about all the pink in their room because, well just because.
Okay, so I didn't exactly go on that tirade. I'd probably be more truthful if I sat there, mouth hanging open, and wondered how in the heck my two year old has already picked up on the ideas our society has regarding gender and image? And, more important am I going to do anything about it?
Here's the thing. I'm not Fiona Feminist. I don't attend rallies, insert myself into the politcal realm, or even debate issues such as equal pay for women. I didn't choose androgenous names for my daughters, nor is our house free of dolls, makeup, and dress up heals. That being said, I pretty much don't take any flack from the men in my life either. Ask my husband or father, they'll tell you all about that. And while I am not Fiona Feminist, I think there is great value and importance in the women who do feel strongly about feminists issues and advocate for the rest of us. Basically, I appreciate those that have come before me because gosh darnit I like having the right to work and vote. And my daughters better not be denied any opportunity or advantage simply because they were created with a va-jay-jay. However, if you get my high heels banned or do away with the color pink, we're going to have issues.
Knowing where I stand as a, what some my call, adult woman (I really prefer to call myself a girl...) does little good when you realize your two year old has soaked up subliminal messages about body image and beauty. I'm still left wondering what to do as a mother. I know this was just one small occurance and I hopefully have a lifetime to counter the messages society and the media give to our young girls, but is that enough? I could take away the princessa...or at least I could try. G & L are awful demanding when they set their minds on something so I'm thinking that wouldn't work. Realistically it wouldn't rid their lives on this type of persuassion because they will see things on TV or billboards, etc. So I'm still wondering what to do.
To be honest with you, I always doubted in the back of my mind that girls think about these types of toys in that way. For example, I've heard lots of people talk about The Little Mermaid and how horrible it is that in the movie she decides to become something she's not and leave her family and the world she's know all for a guy. Perhaps I was just slow back in the day, but I pretty much missed that part of the movie. I was mostly concerned with her flowing hair, all the great music (who doesn't like 'Kiss the Girl?!?'), and about peed my pants in fear during the Ursula parts. Slow, perhaps, or just not impressionable like some suggest...I still don't know.
And I really never thought I'd be gnawing this topic in relation to my children so soon. I guess I thought I had another 10 years before I really had to think about what my girls feel about themselves. Kids really are doing everything earlier, huh?
So I know who I am as a mother and a woman and the values I want my daughters to grow up with. And, based off of research and books I've read about raising daughters, the mother or mother type figure in a household is truly the most influential in the life of a girl. So in that sense I think this princessa beautiful is not such a big deal. If I'm the most influential then G & L are more than likely going to turn out with fine. I don't make weight comments all the time. I'm comfortable leaving the house without makeup (occassionally and only when I'm with my kids because really who's going to even notice my face amongst the chaos of my little tornadoes) and I'm generally a confident, satisfiedwoman girl. The flaw in that theory is that I didn't get to this point without some serious trips down the valley of the shadow of 'I hate the way I look and talk and walk and laugh and smile and blah, blah, blah.' I didn't escape my teenage years without taking diet pills, going months at a time on seriously little food, and doing things I wasn't comfortable with in order to fit in or be cool or whatever. Even though I think I came out the other side relatively 'normal' (hush), I want more for my girls. I want something different. How do I take my 2 year old who adores princessa beautiful and get her into her twenties or thirties (because of course we are going to be super close and I'm going to have the utmost control of her during those years...HA) without all the bad in between? Is that possible?
What's the answer: God? my role modeling? a desolate farm in Idaho complete with homeschooling and an arranged marriage?
What's the answer?
A princessa is more specifically a Barbie who has a big ball gown type of dress on. A Barbie with a swimsuit on can never truly be a princessa. Understand?
Okay, so G & L received their first princessa about a month or so ago. They got Snow White and Cinderella. Then last week after getting flu shots, we went to Target to pick out a new princessa. My mom had been by Target a couple days before and called to let me know about a sale going on. Target had Barbie's on sale for $1.54 and $5.54. Good deal, right? It gets better.
These Barbies were swim Barbies. They were exactly the same Barbie. Sat on the shelf right next to each other and were completely identical except...one was blonde and one was brunette, one had slightly longer hair, and one had a smaller waist. Any guesses on which Barbie had longer hair, a smaller waist, and a bigger price tag??? Before I catapult myself onto a soapbox about what that says to chidren like mine for example, who have beautiful brunette hair, I'll pause long enough to finish the rest of the princessa saga.
Fast forward a couple days after buying identical Barbies, which I paid different amounts for I might add, Gabby, her princessa, and I were sitting on the couch spending some time together. I was playing with Gabby's hair while she was holding Princessa. That's when I said, "Gabby, you are so beautiful!" I suppose I expected a yes or silence in response. Instead, she says back, "No Mama. Princessa beautiful." And then of course I jumped up off the couch, tore princessa beautiful out of her hands, collected every other gender specific toy in our house and headed to the trash can. Next of course I had to do something about all the pink in their room because, well just because.
Okay, so I didn't exactly go on that tirade. I'd probably be more truthful if I sat there, mouth hanging open, and wondered how in the heck my two year old has already picked up on the ideas our society has regarding gender and image? And, more important am I going to do anything about it?
Here's the thing. I'm not Fiona Feminist. I don't attend rallies, insert myself into the politcal realm, or even debate issues such as equal pay for women. I didn't choose androgenous names for my daughters, nor is our house free of dolls, makeup, and dress up heals. That being said, I pretty much don't take any flack from the men in my life either. Ask my husband or father, they'll tell you all about that. And while I am not Fiona Feminist, I think there is great value and importance in the women who do feel strongly about feminists issues and advocate for the rest of us. Basically, I appreciate those that have come before me because gosh darnit I like having the right to work and vote. And my daughters better not be denied any opportunity or advantage simply because they were created with a va-jay-jay. However, if you get my high heels banned or do away with the color pink, we're going to have issues.
Knowing where I stand as a, what some my call, adult woman (I really prefer to call myself a girl...) does little good when you realize your two year old has soaked up subliminal messages about body image and beauty. I'm still left wondering what to do as a mother. I know this was just one small occurance and I hopefully have a lifetime to counter the messages society and the media give to our young girls, but is that enough? I could take away the princessa...or at least I could try. G & L are awful demanding when they set their minds on something so I'm thinking that wouldn't work. Realistically it wouldn't rid their lives on this type of persuassion because they will see things on TV or billboards, etc. So I'm still wondering what to do.
To be honest with you, I always doubted in the back of my mind that girls think about these types of toys in that way. For example, I've heard lots of people talk about The Little Mermaid and how horrible it is that in the movie she decides to become something she's not and leave her family and the world she's know all for a guy. Perhaps I was just slow back in the day, but I pretty much missed that part of the movie. I was mostly concerned with her flowing hair, all the great music (who doesn't like 'Kiss the Girl?!?'), and about peed my pants in fear during the Ursula parts. Slow, perhaps, or just not impressionable like some suggest...I still don't know.
And I really never thought I'd be gnawing this topic in relation to my children so soon. I guess I thought I had another 10 years before I really had to think about what my girls feel about themselves. Kids really are doing everything earlier, huh?
So I know who I am as a mother and a woman and the values I want my daughters to grow up with. And, based off of research and books I've read about raising daughters, the mother or mother type figure in a household is truly the most influential in the life of a girl. So in that sense I think this princessa beautiful is not such a big deal. If I'm the most influential then G & L are more than likely going to turn out with fine. I don't make weight comments all the time. I'm comfortable leaving the house without makeup (occassionally and only when I'm with my kids because really who's going to even notice my face amongst the chaos of my little tornadoes) and I'm generally a confident, satisfied
What's the answer: God? my role modeling? a desolate farm in Idaho complete with homeschooling and an arranged marriage?
What's the answer?
Unfortunately, if you're reading this for an answer, you should probably navigate away from my blog now because I don't have the answer. All I know is that this topic is on my mind which has to be better than having my head in the sand about body image and young girls. The other thing I know is that as a parent I only get one shot at this whole parenting role and I'm determined to do it as well as I can. And lastly, after weeks of thinking about this, I know that I went to Disney on Ice with G & L this week and repeatedly said things like 'pretty princessa' and 'ooh do you see her pretty dress.' So whatever values I have regarding Disney princesses and Barbies and beauty in general apparently run deep. What can I say, I suppose there's a reason Disney and Matel are multi-million dollar companies.
So until I have more discussion or answers on the topic I'll leave you with the original Princessa Beautiful. Who knew mothers all over would lose sleep over such a silly little thing?!?
So until I have more discussion or answers on the topic I'll leave you with the original Princessa Beautiful. Who knew mothers all over would lose sleep over such a silly little thing?!?
If you have young daughters, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I realize I'm a bit neurotic and there's a chance Gabby didn't even know what she was saying about her princessa, but I can't be the only one terrified to send my girls out into the big bad world.
I have an eleven-year old daughter and I also have very strong feelings about dolls like Barbie. My daughter is of an ethnicity not encompassed by Barbies, and we held off getting her any Barbies of her own until she was around five. Then she got a Pocahantas. Her response was to chew the doll's feet off. I'm not sure what that meant!
ReplyDeleteI do know the first time I heard her refer to herself as "not pretty", she was about six years old. It broke my heart that she had internalized these bizarre expectations of what women "should be" or "should look like". To this day, she has body parts she's unhappy with. She's a beautiful child, empathic, and extremely bright, but that's not what she focuses on. Instead, she focuses on her deficits. It's sad.
No, Barbie isn't the root of these problems, but she's definitely representative of what's wrong with how women are viewed in our society, IMO. I wish for my daughter, as well as yours, that they can be appreciated for the people they are instead of for the people they look like.