You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants!

First filled sticker chart...Lilly is in pink. Can't you tell how proud and excited she is about potty training!?!

Do you guys remember the Adam Sandler movie, Billy Madison? I remember it and oh how I thought it was the funniest thing back in the day. But I gotta tell you, this is one momma lion that has not been wetting her pants in a fountain in order to make Gabby and Lilly feel cool. ;)

Here it is. Our potty training journey through hell and back.

It started back in July. We traveled home from vacation and began potty training. And no I don't refer to it as toilet training or urinating. I prefer to teach my children childish words like potty, pee pee, and poo poo because, well they are children. But I digress...

I had read a lot online and firmly believed G & L were ready. We decided to do things a little differently. We decided to lock ourselves in our house for 2-4 days and do nothing but potty train. We were totally against using pull-ups so we went strictly into panties, except at night. This might be a good time to mention that I was about 8 weeks pregnant at the time.

Anyways, all I remember about day 1 was literally being on my hands and knees all day long cleaning up pee pee or poo poo. I think I did like 4 loads of 'potty laundry' the first day. And for the record, the only reason I didn't go through 4 bottles of tequila was because I was pregnant. Days 2 and 3 weren't much better.

You'll be shocked to hear that my girls did not magically potty train themselves in the 2-4 days I allotted for them. I can't imagine why they didn't just shape up and go along with their sweet mother's plan (probably because that never seems to happen), but they didn't. So after day 3, we decided to leave the house. I was at my wits end and really didn't care who or what got peed on at that point because gosh darnit I needed to see someone's face other then the faces of my children!

During the next few months we tried everything! We rewarded with candy, stickers, and toys. We rewarded with nothing at all. We were super consistent. We slacked off. We stayed in panties. We slacked off again and used evil pull-ups. The bottom line: none of it worked. Gabby and Lilly have been physically ready to potty train since before they were two I believe. Our problem was that they had a serious lack of motivation. And trust me when I say that I have two little girls who like being in control, that are primarily taken care of by their control freak mother. In hindsight they totally realized that going 'pee pee in the potty' was something they had ultimate control over. Hmph!

Inside Toy R Us. We went to get the girls a new toy for filling up their chart.

So, about 3 weeks ago I emailed a friend of mine desperate for help. This is what I wrote her:

Hey Michelle,

I'm desperate. We've been 'potty training' for almost 4 months now and I'm just at my wits end with it. Gabby and Lilly have done EVERYTHING easy...go off the bottle, stop taking a paci, you name it. However, potty training seems to be our nemesis. Are there any books you would recommend? We've tried everything from panties only to pull ups to candy rewards to sticker charts to no extrinsic reward and nothing has stuck. They will have a great day and then a horrible day, tell you one day they need to go potty and then pee all over the place the next...and don't even get my started about pooping on the potty. I honestly feel like this is harder and worse with two at once because sometimes they think it is hilarious to pee their pants. One will, the other will see, and then I have two messes to clean.Okay, rant over. If you have any suggestions I would really, really appreciate it!

ThanksKristyn

I emailed this friend because she was a professor and lab school instructor while I was completing my undergraduate degree in early childhood education. I thought that out of everyone I knew maybe she could give me some advice. She's also a fabulous mom who has been through 'potty training hell.' And, just as I thought, she had brilliant advice. I wanted to mention her to my readers because she has started a blog strictly written for parents, teachers, and care providers of young children. It is an early childhood blog, if you will. You can find it here. (She hasn't asked me to promote her or anything, I just thought I pass on a good resource from one mom to others.)

What Michelle advised me to do was drop the issue entirely. If I was a better mom I would have been able to simply listen and do as told, but I couldn't help but feel that if I stopped attempting to potty train then that meant I had failed. And, even worse, my children had failed. Her other advice was how to handle accidents when they happened. I've never been one to criticize or punish my children for having accidents. In fact, I usually made it super easy for them. I tell them it's okay, clean everything up, and allow them to get back to playing. Instead, Michelle suggested that I take them into their room and have them completely take off anything wet, clean themselves up, redress by themselves (my girls know how to dress themselves so I just help with buttons, etc), and have them take care of putting the soiled clothes in the laundry. I know this advice is probably something all of you have done during potty training, but I had never thought of it! I mean it makes sense that little girls who got laughs out of having accidents at the same time, might change their tune if they had to clean it up and lose playing time in the process. Like I said, Michelle's brilliant. Read her blog!

So we are now 4 months (yes 4 months...G & L were on the 2-4 month plan instead of the 2-4 day plan), into potty trainig. We are still working , but having lots more of success! The girls have now decided it is cool to use the potty if they do it by themselves. They also decided not to use the big potty (something they'd always used in the past) and use the little potties instead. So, if you come to my house and see a trail of panties and little potties all about the place, don't be alarmed. And if you see my kids in pull-ups instead of panties, know that I'm learning my selfworth and abilities are not determined by my children. Potty training is quite a learning experience for both parents and kiddos in our house. For now, it is the mountain we're climbing and thankfully we all believe we're about to conquer it. And, on the days that we find ourselves at the bottom of the mountain once again, we find other uses for our panties! :)