Let me be a Blessing

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”—Frederick Buechner

While I am not qualified to write about topics such as blessings, giving, or anything else of the Christian religion I'd like to ask for your patience as I fumble through what this time of year means to me and what I want my children to learn about the Christmas season.

As a child and teenager, I remember enjoying the time leading up to Christmas, but deep down dreading the holiday as well. After the Christmas morning festivities were done and over with and I sat among boxes and boxes of great gifts, many years I was overcome by sadness. Some years I felt sad for my brother because, even though he had the same dollar amount spent on him, he had much fewer boxes to open. Sometimes I felt sad because I knew I wasn't deserving. But mostly I felt pain because, the older I was, the more I understood that while the gifts were nice, trendy, and very expensive, there were children and families with no gifts under their trees, no food on their tables, and some without family to be with.

Later in life I would learn about seasonal depression and come to realize that there were medical reasons for my holiday blues. But before I had that knowledge I began to seek out ways that I could lessen the depression I felt following the holidays. Once I was in college I found that the more I did for others, the better I felt about myself and the less I cared about what I received.

Initially my motivation for doing for others was purely selfish. If I did for others, I wouldn't feel sad after Christmas. It was as if giving was a pill that took away all the upset feelings I had after Christmas. As more Christmas came and went, giving became less of a pill and more like the air I breathed during the holidays. I was meticulous about what I gave to others, both for charity and in my own family. It had to be perfect, meaningful, and thoughtful. And when the day came to give my gift, I stopped caring at all about what those pretty packages held for me. Instead, I only cared about the faces of those who I was giving a gift to or donating my time or money to.

After getting married, Shaun and I have taken up different causes to contribute to and we have seen the difference it has made. In the past we've adopted an angel from the angel tree, donated to toy and food drives through the military, and donated to food pantries to help the hungry. Since becoming parents (and living in the world of all things baby and toddler), it is no suprise that those are the causes we took up this year. We decided to help our local Infant Crisis Center with diapers and formula for babies in need. We donated baby items to the new NICU in our area (the nurses and doctors that took care of our girls) and other items for their Family Room. And, in the next couple of days, we will be helping stuff stockings and delivering them to the parents of the children in the NICU. Santa will even be there to take pictures with all the babies on their first Christmas!

The point of my writing this is not to pat myself on the back or brag. In truth, what we have done this year is but a drop in the bucket compared to the need that exists all around us. The point is that for my family, this time of year isn't about talking about the meaning of Christmas. It is about showing it. It isn't about telling others about God or any other aspect of Christianity. For us, it is about doing the work we feel called to do. And, if our spirits are lifted in the mean time, that's just icing on the cake cookie!

Perhaps someone out there might find my statements hypocritical. You see, my family does celebrate Christmas with gifts, stockings, and the annual trip to take a picture with Santa and tell him our Christmas wishes. However, while we participate in all of those fun traditions, for us that isn't the meaning of this season.

We desire our girls to grow up with a selfless, giving spirit. We hope that every year when the holidays come around, they make of list of who they want to help before a list of what they themselves want. We want them to know that while giving monetary is a blessing, giving of your time is often more of a gift. That the season for giving is all year and the joy of Christmas lays in the faces of those who you care for, not in shiny packages under the tree.

We took Gabby and Lilly with us this year to drop off goodies at the NICU I spoke about before. And while I suppose we were blessing them, we were the ones blessed...blessed to see the excited faces of the nurses, blessed to know the tiny miracles fighting for their lives within those walls might be helped in some way by our contribution, and reminded of the two blessings we held in our arms.

We look forward to Gabby and Lilly participating more and more in future years. We know that more than likely they are going to have a comfortable upbringing. Chances are they probably won't know what it is like to go hungry or without gifts at Christmas time. But, because of that, we are more determined than ever to teach our girls that 'to whom much is given, much is expected' (Luke 12:48).

This Christmas, our prayer for our children and ourselves this season and the new year that we might be a blessing to someone God sends our way.

From our den to your's, have a very blessed Christmas!