School Girls

Today was Gabby and Lilly's first day at Mother's Day Out. You may have read earlier that they were supposed to start going last Wednesday, but because they were sick, had to stay home. So, today was the day. Shaun had to work early therefore I was on my own as far as getting myself and them ready, fed, packed, loaded, in the building, and settled. And that, my friend, is a job in itself!

Gabby & Lilly

First day of 'school'

September 2009

(can you believe I thought to take pictures AND they cooperated)

We got to MDO and to the classroom without any drama. Once in the room, Gabby found some crackers on the table to eat and she was fairly calm. Lilly started clawing onto me the minute we walked in the room. I was planning for Gabby to be clinging and Lilly to more or less say 'see ya later' mom. Like I've said before, they have a way of switching when I least expect it.


When I left they were both crying. I had prepared myself for this so all was going according to plan. My plans for the rest of the day went something like this: drop the girls off, do a happy dance upon leaving the building, run errands, be carefree, eat when I'm hungry, pee when I need to go (versus waiting hours until the girls are busy), etc. You would think by now I should have learned that my 'plans' are not even in the same ballpark as reality. But, surprise surprise, I still have not.


When deciding to send the girls to MDO I talked with so many other stay at home moms and working moms alike who told me that leaving the girls would be hard for a time or two, but that it would be 'good for them and you.' When people said that I sorta thought, 'Are you kidding me? I'm going to do a little jig at the first breathe of freedom. I'll be fine. It's Gabby and Lilly I worry about.' I would have never said this outloud to any of them and, thank goodness I never did, because I was completely wrong. And they were completely right.


When I got in the car I called Shaun. We talked for a minute and then he said, "I know its hard baby. I mean you've been with them everyday for the past sixteen months." And I lost it. I'm not sure if I was brought to my knees by his words, the totality of the statement, or the fact that my (very attentive) husband realized and recognized my 'life work,' if you will, during the past 16 months and how this small step was indeed huge for me.


I guess leading up to MDO all I thought about was how Gabby and Lilly would handle the change. I never considered my thoughts or feelings about it (I mean...hello. What mother ever really has time to think about things like that anyway?!?) So there I was, in my car, no crying, no giggling, no little faces to play with in the mirrors, no silly children's songs playing. Just me, without mascara at that point.


It didn't help that a friend of mine had shared with me a tragic story when we dropped our girls off. It didn't help that the meeting I went to today consisted of a discussion about hungry families in our area, how the numbers are increasing everyday, and how organizations just can't keep up with the need. It also didn't help that I witnessed a lady in the meeting, who didn't look like she had two cents to give to someone else, give twenty dollars to a stranger so she could buy food and supplies for her church to give to needy children. Needless to say, I was one big ball of tears, running mascara, and soggy kleenexes. As if the temptation to go rescue my little ones wasn't great enough, after the events of the day I simply wanted to pick them up early, take them home, and hold them until everything in the world seemed right again.


If only that were possible.


Not that this really has anything to do with the girls, but in order to make myself feel better today I bought the girls an outfit, had lunch with my resident therapist (my mother, who isn't a therapist in the technical sense), called Shaun and decided to donate money to the food bank, thanked God during dinner that my daughters' tummies would be full tonight, and decided to write a little about it here in case someone else might be moved to help those less fortunate. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a parent, one who is legitimately trying to make ends meet, and have to chose between food or rent, medication or running water. Everyone, beginning with my family, has so much for which to be thankful. How quickly we lose perspective and act as if food and medication are a right, when to some they are a priviledge.


Alright, I'm off the soap box now.

Back to regular programming.


When I picked the girls up this afternoon I was greeted by two very happy, playful, and in one piece children. They were happy to see me, but not half as happy as I was to see them. Their teacher, who is so sweet and the kind of person that is truly nurturing, said they had a great day. There were tears, but she said they had one of the best first days she'd seen for kiddos their age. They only slept for 30 minutes, but that was more time than I expected. They loved playing outside (big surprise!), music and instruments, and ate all their lunch.

First Packed Lunch

So, as this day is quickly coming to an end, this mama lion and her little cubs have one day under our belts. We've made new friends, had a new experience, suffered from exhaustion, been through the emotional ringer, gained some perspective, declared our appreciation for our many blessings, and somehow lived to write about it.