Not Me Monday, Twin - Style

This weekend, in celebration of OU's first football game, I did not make red velvet cupcakes with white frosting at 8 o'clock am. And since I did not make said cupcakes, I definitely did not allow my girls to lick batter covered beaters for breakfast. But, if I had done such things, which I didn't, I certainly would not have taken pictures of the atrocity. But, if I did take pictures, which I didn't, under no circumstance would I post them on my blog once I realized my children looked like baby vampires feasting. Nope, not me!

Miss G

Miss L

And, in preparation for the big game, I did not paint Gabby's toe nails OU red! How absurd would that have been?!? Nope, I definitely did not do such a thing. But, if I had done this, I definitely would not have removed the polish because it was getting 'messed up' and then repaint her toe nails. I mean seriously, I definitely did not do that! But, if I did paint Gabby's toe nails, which I didn't, then I certainly would have learned my lesson and not painted Lilly's toe nails. And because I didn't paint Lilly's toe nails there was no need to use what little brain I have most days thinking about the best way to paint Lilly's toe nails. Nope, not me. I absolutely did not decided that trapping her in her high chair and painting her toe nails during lunch would be a good plan. I mean, seriously? Toddler toe nails painted OU ready? Definitely, not me!

And if I had realized that my children willingly consume cups of queso, which they don't, I definitely would not plan restaurant trips to Mexican food restaurants. But, if I did go to Mexican food restaurants so my children could eat their weight in queso, which I don't, I absolutely would not give into their whines as they demand to try salsa. Not me! Salsa is hot. I would never let them even have a crunchy chip, let alone cover it in salsa. But, if I did let them try salsa, which I didn't, they most definitely would have hated it. They would have cried and never asked for salsa again and I would not continue to give it to them, which I did not do. Nope, not me!

And if we were out running errands and I was desperate for a beverage from Micky D's, which I would never be because that place is so bad for you, I most definitely would not know that my girls like French fries. And because I don't know they like French fries, I most definitely would not order a small fry for Gabby and Lilly to share. Definitely not. What kind of a mother do you think I am?

Ahhh...I feel better already.

Want to read what other mothers across the country definitely did not do this week? Click here!