Mother's Intuition

This week at Multiples and More they asked mothers of multiples whether or not they believe and/or have experienced mother's intuition. While many of you probably know bits and pieces of how mother's intuition affected me along this journey, I've never written about it. I suppose there is no time like the present.

I'm not sure if I would consider myself to have mother's intuition or if I would say that every now and then I get overwhelming feelings about things. When I was younger, I would mostly ignore these feelings. However, as time went on and I continued to ignore my gut insticts to my or my families detriment, I quickly realized there was merit in what I was feeling and that I should listen and act accordingly.

One example came prior to having Gabby and Lilly. After Shaun and I had been married only a few years, I started having an overwhelming feeling that Shaun was going to be in a car accident. I started making him call me when he got to work and before he left for work. He did this for a couple weeks just to reassure me things were okay. Then, on the way home from work one day he was in a relatively bad car accident on the highway. He ended up having to have surgery, but has made a full recovery. If I ever wanted to ignore my gut instinct or intuition in the future, this experience forever opened my eyes.

Fast forward a couple of years. Shaun and I found out we were pregnant in October 2007. We vacationed in Pennsylvania that Thanksgiving. I was experiencing some complications at this point and remember being terrified on our plane ride to PA that I was losing my baby. We still had no idea we were pregnant with twins. So, as we visited with family over the next week, the topic of our one little blessing came up often. On three different occassions, that I know of, I said things like, "Shaun, what are we going to name these babies?" and "How are we going to decorate their room?" and "These babies have got to stop making me so sick!"

All of the times I recognized what I said I covered my mouth with my hand, and laughingly said, "Oh my gosh! Why did I say that?!?" According to my sister-in-law, there were several more times that I made Freudian slips regarding twins that I didn't catch.

And, two days after returning how we found out we were pregnant with twins.

We had to work really hard to convince our family that we actually did not know we were having twins. They thought we were just keeping the info from them!

So, I'm not sure if that is mother's intuition, but whatever it is, it was enough to make me listen really intently to myself, my body, and my feelings.

Fast forward to Spring 2008. I was a 2nd grade teacher while pregnant with the girls. I had to stop teaching on April 11, 2008 in order to rest and try to carry my babies as long as possible. Obviously my students had a hard time understanding why I wouldn't be having my babies within a couple days if I was leaving school. I would explain things to them, but ultimately they still had trouble and wanted to know when I would have the girls. Knowing that May 15th would be around 36 weeks, I told them to watch the calendar for May 15th and that I would probably have the girls around then. We even marked a calendar in their classroom so that they would all know when the day was approaching.

Also around this time my OB informed me that he would be out of town during late April and early May. I told him that was alright with me, but that I had blinders on and that the only day I could see was May 15th. I told him that on that day he had to be in town because I was going to give myself permission to have my babies.

And, on May 15th at 12:53 and 12:55 Gabby and Lilly were born.

As if these examples aren't enough reason to listen to my intuition, I have story after story I could tell you about feeling uncomfortable in a certain situation that turned out bad or meeting someone who made everything in my body say 'RUN' and ultimately they ended up not a good person for me and my family.

After having the girls, I have had a constant feeling that I would not know what it was like to only have one baby at a time. Now, I'm not sure whether this means I might not ever have any more children or if it means that I will have twins (or more) again in the future. You all will have to stick around to see how this turns out.

I don't know what to make of all of this. One day when I was explaining these things to my brother, he told me that he thought it was cool and that he believed intuition and gut reactions were the last animalistic instinct that humans have. Perhaps he is right. What I know for sure is that the more I listen to my feelings and instincts, the louder and more clear they become. They become less scary and more of an ally helping my navigate my life. I remember I used to think I was crazy for entertaining these thoughts in my head and was just sure this type of thing would land me in a mental institute, but now a days I completely disagree.

If you have a gut feeling, reaction, or instinct, listen to it. No matter how hard, how unimaginable, or how ridiculous. As humans, and specifically mothers, we have a responsibility to use all of our facilties to protect ourselves and our families. I think mother's intuition, goes a long way toward meeting that goal.

I know it has me.